Who does the MTA think we are anyway? (And this is no offense to my MTA friends, this is about “The Man” Running the MTA.
If you ride a NYC Select+ Bus, every ten minutes, you will hear this announcement,
Bus Operators are protected by New York State Law. Assaulting a Bus Operator is a felony.
Now just who is this announcement intended for? Is it really helping anyone or is it just admitting that New Yorkers are just a bunch of low lives who just can’t contain their free floating anger?
Ok, let me try to examine this concept.
How can a Bus Operator push you to the limits of your patience that you actually feel the need to assault him or her?
- Does the Bus Operator insult your mom?
- Bring disgrace to your name?
- Spank your girl in the ass?
- Run over your dog?
- Steal your money?
These are reasons for you to conceivably hit someone.
Whats the worst a Bus Operator can do? Well, lets see, they can…
- Stop short causing you to loose balance and fall down,
- Fail to open the back door after repeated requests to open it – causing you to miss your stop,
- Close the back door on your kids while you are trying to get in (mind you this is the select bus),
- Demand that you pay your fare or they wont move the bus,
- Ask you to move to the back of the bus when the front is too crowded,
- And they can direct you to get a ticket before you board, and as you go to the machine to the ticket, they drive off without you.
But, really, while these things can piss you off, they will not prompt most people to swing into a rage and actually engage the Bus Operator in fisticuffs.
But maybe there are a handful of New Yorkers who have such short fuses that they actually will hit the Bus Operator. This is a violent city after all and some folks will kick your ass if you look at them the wrong way or if you scuff their brand new sneakers.
Will the announcement help in this case? Will a street thug who is about to tear into a Bus Operator, after he was asked to give up his seat to an elderly paraplegic in a wheel chair, really second guess himself after hearing the announcement just seconds before his attack?
Will the thug reflect back to the time that he heard the announcement and made a mental note to not hit Bus Operators or go to jail for seven years with Bubba and Calvin?
So just who is this announcement meant for? Is it really going to save anyone in the heat of the moment?….
But wait, maybe violence is down on the morning commute because of the announcement. Maybe it is helping. When was the last time you saw or heard of a Bus Operator being attacked? The operation is a success! Lets apply it to all aspects of daily life. We can have audio drones patrolling the streets playing back announcements for the general public. “Remember, don’t flee from the scene of an accident”, or “Doing drugs is bad, mmmOK, Please don’t do drugs.” In stores, over the PA system there can be a mantra of, “Don’t Steal.”, or “Shoplifters will be prosecuted.”
Implicit suggestions are the way to cure society of all its ills. Why did no one think of this earlier?
Hoorah! lets give a round of applause to the MTA! Good job fellas. Sorry I ever doubted you.
To the MTA: (I was being sarcastic).